Lovers, retailers embrace Valentine's Day

The chocolates have all been boxed and shipped, along with the cut flowers, greeting cards and other tokens of affection that convention says we should bestow on our beloveds on Valentine's Day."Feb. 14 is typically our strongest single sales day of the year," said Richard Van Doren, vice president at See's Candies, based in South San Francisco.
Throughout the year, women purchase most of the chocolates sold in the United States, but near Valentine's Day, purchase patterns shift.
"Frankly, a lot of shopping is last-minute purchases by men," said Mona Maher, a vice president at the Ghirardelli Chocolate Co. in San Leandro. "It's ideal when people are looking to impress and not mess up."
How the feast of St. Valentine became the day to demonstrate ardor is shrouded in mystery.
Some lore traces the tradition to an ancient Roman fertility rite and suggests that the day honors a priest who was martyred on Feb. 14, A.D. 269, for performing marriages in defiance of an imperial edict.
But in 1969, the Catholic Church decided that St. Valentine might not be a historical character and downplayed his festival.
Yet by then the aura of Eros had long since attached itself to St. Valentine, at least in the English tradition.
Geoffrey Chaucer makes a reference to his feast day in the "Parliament of Fowls," a 14th century poem that romanticizes how lovebirds find their mates.
By 1477, the link between romance and Valentine's Day had found its way into everyday English life, as evidenced by a letter written that year and held in the British Library.
In that love note, Englishwoman Margery Brews calls fiance John Paston "my right well-beloved Valentine," and tells him that she and her mother were both trying to persuade her father to increase her dowry whilst entreating him to marry her anyway "if you love me as I trust verily that you do."
For the record, historians think the couple wed and had two children, while the practice of exchanging handwritten love notes around St. Valentine's Day seems to have become a custom that English colonists spread to the future United States.
There, in the late 1840s, artist and businesswoman Esther Howland of Massachusetts began printing and selling ornate Valentine's cards, earning herself the title of the "mother of Valentine's Day."
By the 1920s, the practice of exchanging Valentines had infiltrated schools, fixing the practice into the American culture and setting the stage for the commercial event we know today.
According to the Greeting Card Association, 190 million Valentines are exchanged each year in the United States. The association says the holiday is also celebrated in Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, Mexico, France, Denmark and Italy.

Men spend much more

A National Retail Federation survey suggests that the average American man will spend $135.35 on Valentine's Day, while the average woman will shell out $72.28, to create a $14.1 billion holiday.
Robin Lakoff, a professor of linguistics at UC Berkeley, thinks it may be time to adjust that spending ratio.
"In this day and age, women are doing better economically, so maybe it should be time for them to be the wooer," she quipped.

Be patient, singles

Lovers who do exchange Valentine's gifts should not overspend, cautioned Hillary Mendelsohn, a shopping expert with the online service PayPal.

"It's a big red flag these days," she said, adding that men and women alike want financially prudent mates.
Matchmaker Carole Shattil of CheckMates Inc. in San Francisco said Valentine's Day often prompts angst among singles. Her advice: Be patient, and be certain that romance is waiting to be found.
"Love yourself," she said. "Give out the energy that there is someone else out there who also doesn't have someone rather than being in panic mode."
Kevin Westlye, executive director of the Golden Gate Restaurant Association, said Valentine's Day fills the tables, so reservations are advised. He suggested that anyone planning to pop the question over dinner talk should consult servers and managers in advance to make sure the moment is magical.